Plenty of reading time?

I discovered this website and I think it's pretty dang cool.

I found it by searching for meles meles because I'm a nerd.

I now know that Meles Meles lives clans and they live in burrows that get passed down from generation to generation.

I'm so getting the house once the parents are gone. "Squatters Rights"

Jealousy Sets In

My friend is in Berkley studying Latin all summer. I don't really want to know latin but I'm very jealous of the fact that she's preparing for her doctoral studies at UNM. It's weird to feel this way. Weird indeed.

But I did my own work today. I read through the dialogue Euthyphro (not the best translation through this link. I read in in analogue format) this morning and put some effort into contemplating it today. It's a little much for one sit-down but I kicked this idea around.

"The point which I should first wish to understand is whether the pious or holy is beloved by the gods because it is holy, or holy because it is beloved of the gods. "

Very tough meat to chew on a busy Monday afterknoon. But that was after I contemplated if Socrates was the kind of guy who would just ask you questions to make you look stupid. Or better put, was he "that guy" who plays Devil's Advocate or claims to play Devil's Advocate erstwhile actually just getting his personal rocks off by asking question after question till the person answering them gets irritated, frustrated, confused and finally concedes that the jack-ass of an idiot playing Devil's Advocate is right simply to get them to shut the fuck up.

I still look at these works through the filter of 2K+ years.

Looking at something I haven't looked at in a while

"It is a progressive ideology that, without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead meaningful, ethical lives capable of adding to the greater good of humanity."

I gotta get a subscription to this magazine.

Lost Time

So much has "gone down" in the last few weeks. I've been hard-pressed to even get to reading my regular blog circuit.

Here's what's been up: (I know everyone is just dying to know!!!)

Where the i Divides rocked the Annex on the 31st of May. It was a blowout show with not a lot of attendance. We didn't get paid this time but we got an invite to play this coming Saturday with some other bands that are more promising to draw some fans. Who knows if anyone will be there when we take the stage, though.

That show on the 31st was also an event starring our manager. She essentially decided that she didn't want to manage us anymore. I'm torn between having her around for the work she took care of and also for being much more involved with what's going on with the band. I guess things will work out. It will be interesting to see if the other members of the band actually figure out that there's a shit load of work to do in order to get more shows booked and more contacts to work with. There's going to be a moment in the near future where I'm going to hear someone say, "We need more shows." At which point I'll respond, "Go ahead and book them youself fuck-head. I'm not the only person in this band who's capable of doing the work to promote it."

I went to Albuquerque over the weekend of the 1st through the 4th. What a nice little vacation that was. I took a mini tour of the town and inspected the grounds at the university of New Mexico. They have a quality graduate program that I'm looking into. I also saw my first Rattlesnake in the wild. That was awesome. The opportunity is there. The potential is there. I even have a place to rent lined up if I decide to go through with it/get accepted. But that's in the future.

After I got back from NM last Monday, I spent the week trying to catch up with what is going on with everything.

I made a list of things to take care of. I've been slowly taking care of them. Slowly but surely. I'm about ready to hire someone to do some database programming. I just need approval from my boss. Once that's done, hell yeah. That will be a huge weight lifted, in more ways than one. The "feng shui" of my living quarters is also a HUGE issue right now so I've been taking time cleaning up small piles of crap. Throwing a lot of stuff out. It's always good to get rid of excess crap.

The band played another show last Saturday in the pasture behind the barn. It's almost time for us to leave the free practice space. We have a new space that we are renting but OF COURSE someone in the band still wants to have one more practice in the barn. I don't. We've already put money down for the other space and we have the key so I don't know why anyone would want to go to the barn except for the fact that they're lazy and don't want to move all of the equipment to the new space. Again, I don't know why that's an issue since I'm the one who will be moving all of the equipment because I have a truck (true) and apparently I'm the only one who knows how to take action (not entirely true).

So congrats for making it through the bitch-fest of a post here on blog dumpster 5000.

In positive news, I'm still off the smoking. I made it through last weekend (with the band) without having a smoke. I've been pushing myself on the treadmill at the gym, trying to up my 2 mile pace. I can get it in under 16 minutes pretty easily but I would like to do it faster but that'll just take time and training. It's a hell of a lot easier to do push myself since my lungs aren't as clogged.

I also picked up a copy of Profit Over People by Noam Chomsky and read that in the last few weeks. I, for some reason, keep getting more and more angry with the basic complacency that smacks me in the face every day. It's as if the citizens of this nation are so oblivious to even the most basic schemes of distraction and pacification. But then again, I'm guilty of it too. I'm a bullshit consumer. I don't care enough to discipline myself even further. I got rid of the tobacco. I rarely watch television. I rarely purchse anything besides food and fuel. I'm trying to get myself into a more simplified state of existence, erstwhile trying to create a band that will someday be a moneymaker. It's a conflict of interest. I think I'll eventually go crazy. That'll be good.

I also heard about a book called Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. I haven't gotten it from the library yet. It's time to get smarter. It's time to get wiser. It's time to simplify. Not just me. Everyone. But who the fuck am I? That's right. So keep on consuming. I'll do it too. And we'll just end up hating ourselves even more. Losing more of our basic civility. Demanding more for just ourselves. More for me. Right? Yeah.

PARTY WEEKEND!!!!

Okay, I'm not really going to go all out and "party." I got band things to do all weekend. Rehearsal tonight. Mixing session looming for tomorrow. Covering the city with flyers for our show on the 31st. But I do want to get to this.

Totally awesome extravagnaza of shoveling sausages into your maw with flocks of others similarly situated as myself.

I missed last year for some reason that I can't remember. The year before I went with Kristin and we had our brat. It went well.

And if you want me to be more specific about my quitting smoking excusrsions, I guess I can let you know (Kristin) that I've had a few cigarettes each Saturday or Sunday, usually in the presence of other band members. It's the only place where I'm tempted to have one. Last Sunday was the first band related activity that I've been at that I didn't have a cigarette. I'm planning on not having one this evening at rehersal. I'm also planning on not having one at the studio while mixing. Is that enough info? You tell me...

So I've been off the devil sticks for about a month now. I've been a lot clearer. Things are a lot clearer. I've got a lot of sorting out to do this summer. New directions are calling and their calling out loud.

I don't have time to expound on them right now.

I've got to rush off to other band related activities.

Till then. Keeping strong without cigarettes.

(I have back-slid in a few (usually on Satuday) scenarios that are a little to "familiar" for the social aspects of smoking... i.e. drinking)

Crustin Timberlake

Two days in a row for a post.

I've been off the radar for a while. You would think that only working part-time would afford me plenty of time to post awesome things about the economy or make these scathing comments about how gas prices are worse than listening to MC 900 Foot Jesus, but in fact, it hasn't really been all that important.

Here's why.

I was talking with a friend of mine who is a journalist about the nature of journalism these days. Seems that the trend, from his perspective, is that with all of the "information" flying around the internets these days, people don't want to watch tv news unless it's exciting. People don't want to hear just the facts, they want opinions and "drama." So I've been wondering why I'm even "blogging." I feel like most of the time, what I post just isn't worth taking up someone else's time, albeit three minutes. Still... How many more times can I entertain people with 'facts' like Boys Over Flowers is a better read than Zatch Bell. Or even better yet, introduce new words into the popular lexicon like "Shonk!" or "Ba-zow!" (I was cracking up about shonk pretty much all morning.)

But the truth is, I've been searching for a new avenue for life. I'm reaching that age that some would call the Saturnic Return and regardless, it's something that's just unsettling. Which dreams do I let die, which do I pursue? When do I decide that Madison is over and it's time to leave for the place that I consider home? How in the hell do I afford any of that? They're all relatively simple questions to answer. But I don't just want words as answers. I want actions.

So I'm taking action. I am reading again. I'm reading a lot of stuff I wouldn't normally look into. I've gone back to my old routine of sitting in the stacks at the library and reading a book I've pulled until I lose interest and then wandering off to find another one until something really strikes me as interesting. This is exactly how I ended up with my B.A. in Philosophy. I read a book that blew my mind and I decided that I wanted to study deeper. I'm seeking that new vein. Looking for the next lode. And it'll be big when I find it.

But in the meantime, I listen to A LOT of left talk radio. I hear all the crying and moaning and wailing and gnashing of teething about this and that and it really makes me tired of even caring about the "which side you on" mentality. It's not a matter of which side you're on. It's a matter of realizing that every time we get grifted into thinking that some "Moral" issue is the thing we should be arguing about, we are being led away from the simple idea of Profit over People. Plain and simple. And that's where I'm at right now.

So you want to talk about how Paris Hilton should or shouldn't have to rot in jail for 45 days. So you want to argue about the University of Wisconsin System and how it may or may not extend benefits to life partners for same sex couples. Go ahead. It's the same as watching Real World reruns all summer long on your Dell laptop at the pool. Make sure you stay in the shallow end though. Heaven forbid you might have to swim.

It's been how long?

There's a lot going on in the world of politics and news and this and that. I would comment on that but it's just too time consuming to put together a semi-intelligent rant about the state of the world and there are plenty of other places to get your opinions.

Instead, I'd rather announce that I've quit smoking. I've given it up for a little over three weeks now. Granted, I did have a few cigarettes on Saturdays, hanging out with the band, but they were very unenjoyable. It's absolutely awesome to get rid of that damn addiction. I have dreams again. I don't reek (well, of smoke) all the time. I don't wake up congested every morning. I just fell damn better.

The trick? This time it was the reminder of facts about the drugs in cigarettes that kept me from having one during the week at work, where they are everywhere and pretty much free for the taking. I also kept reminding myself that there will be the horrible sludgy feeling along with the doped up stupor of having a smoke. I give myself breaks without the smoking now.

So stay away from cocaine, stay away from heroine, stay away from meth. But don't make that tobacco illegal. Even though it's probably the most addictive of the bunch.

Not feelin' it today.

I really could care less about just about everything today.

I've been forcing myself to listen to the rough mixes of the recording I've been working on with Where the i Divides and it's terribly frustrating.

Why, you ask? I don't want to talk about it. Lets just say that my expectations for this project and the expectations of my collaborators aren't on the same page. I'm tired of hearing the mistakes, the constant rhythm section jangling like it's all important, all the time. I'm tired of the warble in Joe's "I'm like the guy from R.E.M, right?" voice. I just want to re-track a few guitar parts, a few terrible vocal parts and then mix the songs alone with the engineer and let the rest of the band decide after I've made my "Producer's Cut."

But that's not here or there.

Gas Prices though... That's apparently all the rage these days.

(I love the picture. I want to shop at the Open Pant'ry!)

It's really, really, really slow

Work is slow as molasses. It's been like that all week.

So I've had plenty of time to sit and look at things online.

I was over at Kevin Wolf's doing some investigating and he had a mention of the Wadsworth Atheneum which reminded me of this totally awesomely horrible thing I learned last weekend.



Now, this ain't half bad. It all depends on how you use the words. But rap is just downright boring these days.

...But this is bad. I wish I was in high school again so I could work on projects like this and get credit for them. (rolls eyes, rolls over, dies.)




But at least it's not The (Mad) Real Wedding Crashers.

The land...

Where do all of these unexpected Ministry fans come from?

I keep bringing up Ministry as of late and people seem to love them.
I own two of their albums. One is decidedly not like the other. The Land of Rape and Honey is laden with drum loops and keyboards and samples. Filth Pig is practically the opposite with mostly live drums and mostly guitars. It's two different approaches to making the same kind of music. It's exactly the kind of thing that musicians do when they are tired of cranking out the same song over and over again, unlike the corporate companies that dominate what gets played on most commercial radio. (some of the comments on this link are great. Especially the one about NASCAR.) Again, what happens in the game of Monopoly when someone succeeds in creating a monopoly?


An (perhaps not so) interesting aside in my music appreciation travels:

Ministry covered Lay, Lady, Lay on Filth Pig. When I heard Bob Dylan singing that song, it was well after I had the Ministry version etched into my memory and that was, well, a shock.

Much like when my friend learned that Hunter isn't a Jared Leto song. She had no idea it was Bjork. Which rhymes with pork.

I've also heard rumors that Ministry isolates everything to the extreme when they record. Drum tracks are done one at a time. If that's true, that's mighty purist of them. I'd rather take the Albini route and just go for the ambient sound of "strategically place mics." But then again, I think I like a more "organic" feel to my music.

The Veil Dropped a Long Time Ago

I just sent this off to a Mister John Edwards for President, 2008, on his myspace page.

Dear Mr. Edwards 2008 Campaign Volunteer,

Even though I think our country would be better run by a candidate from the Democratic side of this bi-partisan system we have clumsily manipulating this great nation of ours, I can't help but wonder what sort of qualifications a politician has in making any of these decisions.

If Mr. John Edwards were to sit down and have a one-to-one chat with me, explaining what he expects to do if elected, I would consider giving him my support, but that's not going to happen. I'm not a corporation like Globo-Chem or Conglomo-O looking for ways to raise the bottom line, by padding pocketbooks in the disgraceful popularity contest that used to be a serious affair.

In 2008, I think I'll vote for the candidate I disagree with the least.

Sincerely,
Z


Ahh... Grandma Betsy's Biscuit Powder.

Fueled by stimulation

The last post I put up was a hint as to what the future could hold.

I didn't take the time to work on the new idea over the weekend. I went to see films at the Wisconsin Film Festival.

Chalk
Linda, Linda, Linda
Climates

Good movies. Good times. I'm not going to comment on them, other than this. Chalk is akin to NBC's the Office. Climates is a really slow moving story but still advisable to see. Linda, Linda, Linda wasn't entirely what I expected but still a fun movie.

Back to realtime. I sat down today to start on this new project, and I'm quickly learning that I have a highly unrestrainable writing style. I would talk about it more but I'm trying to keep it under wraps until it's close to being completed. (Who knows how long that will take.)

A moment of Silent Staring

I spent a good 15 minutes last night just sitting on my bed, staring at nothing. Listening to nothing. Thinking. About what? I don't remember.

I've had a lot to do as of late. Work is busy as usual. I'm pretty much off the photocopy job, which is a good thing. I make more money at the other job now and I end up having a few more hours in the day to work on writing. Writing what? I don't know... nonsense poetry, esoterics, banal tripe.

Today was a good day for writing.

I came up with a few lines. "There are stars in these skies. There are 13 points to an object." which I quickly followed up with "Bushido Blade blister parade." I decided that the first two had something and then then third one was just crap. I boxed that one off, quarntined it if you will, and then kept working with those ideas. There's something in those two lines that needs to be expanded on. I'm going to give myself some sort of outline and work from there.

And as much as I would like to say that this blog is dead, I just posted another post... so figure that one out.

(Zombie Post)

How is it possible?

When a moment grabs you, it's really hard to say no.

I wrote something about it today without really knowing what specifically I was actually trying to say. It's one of those things where everything has to be right and yet when I try to make it right, it just looks like a bunch of cut up magazine articles, glue, streamers and glitter.

Here it is...

Oh my dear sweet savior's nose gay on the rolling hills. Folding chairs. Blankets on the lawn. Dispirited by a screwdriver and a lighter.
Bring Hope down the line.
That you've known this before. Divine Splinter-vention at the turtle convention... and the snails feel left behind yet content with the glowing eyesockets picture lockets dangling off the cable pipeline snoring to keep you awake while you sleep, drool, frolic in the gray.
Bishop of Eggs. Evaporate. Quick tabulate.
ROBOTS!

... that it.

Or I could sum it up in a pilfered line. "Look at me and tell me if you've known me before."

Haleas flasdj fk-w0rnv

Yeah... That's about all I got.

I"m taking a fucking break from Access '07. Brain is fried from trying to get a new database up and running for the office. It'll be great on the resume. It'll be great once I get it done. I dunno.

I put in my notice at the photocopy job. I had a long day on Monday and decided that I'm very, very, very unhappy with where I am and what I'm doing and need to kick my ass out of this stupid rut. I can't justify making the kind of money I make when I am capable of earning so much more for doing more challenging work. And stuff and things.

Where the i Divides has a show on Saturday in Kenosha, WI. What a trip!!! I haven't thought much about it. I finished off another new song that I've been kicking around since last fall. Then a new idea. Sure. The first album ain't done with the mixing process and we're already working on the next album. It's just a reference for the new material. It may be a while before that stuff get anywhere near a studio. The Quisling material, on the other hand, may be done over the next few months...

What's Quisling? It's the Nirvana-esque band I started last week after Joe gave me the impression he may be quitting the band. I put together two songs so far, musically. I still need to record them and kick out some lyrics for singin'. Eventuall we'll play shows around town and sell garage demos on burned CDs made with my computer and a few microphones. Rock and roll through and through. People will say, "Why does this sound like you recorded it in a barn?" and I'll relpy, "because it was."

What I'm most iimpressed with about all of this is that if someone had told me two years ago that I would be able to write a song in a matter of hours, and then bust out another one in the same night, I would have not believed them. Yet, now here I sit on a pile of songs and music that I've put together and there's always ideas for more. I think it was an interview with the New Pornographers that I read about that time that I realized that I wanted to 'crank' out more songs. Good songs. Bad songs. Filler. It didn't matter. The good would move on and the bad would fall away but they'd be done.

And special b-day wishes to my sis.

Just a thought

Why is it that people who use "religion" to their advantage to get elected lack the conscience or understanding that their conduct should reflect those values?

What the hell ever happened to honesty, compassion, and concern for your fellow man or woman regardless of who they are or their profession. (See the story of Jesus and the Woman at the Well.)

I'd much rather have those things than any religious affiliation or religious endorsement for someone I would potentially vote for.

Personal news update

Last post was me on a misery Monday. I've been ground down by the constant recording sessions debacles that seem to be cropping up. (Crapping up?) Over the weekend, I finished guitar tracks and some organ tracks. Travis has this super awesome vintage GE organ that has a fan in it. You plug it in and press a key and it opens a valve that lets air through to create a sound. It's pitched different than a true 440 so we're going to have to shift the entire track but thank god for protools (sometimes).

Saturday went well. Stuff was accomplished. I'm still not happy with the solo I recorded for the song "Jerkwater". It's not quite right. It's there, it's okay, but it lacks the power and flow that I need it to have. I listened to some Tool yesterday and am thinking I'm going to use that as a point of reference for that song. Acoustic guitar tracks on the song "Stepped Oustide" need to be re-recorded since we used Travis' Kingston and it's next to impossible to tune and my acoustic tuner needs new batteries. I'll have to drag my Oscar Schmidt acoustic in. The strings are probably rusted to hell and will break when I start playing but that'll just add to the overall effect I was going for with the Kingston. And then we got to Sunday...

Joe was late due to the time shift. We hammered away at one song for three point five hours with retakes and punches but it just wasn't coming out quite right. Then we switched songs and that wasn't working to well either. Compounded with the fact that Joe has changed most of the lyrics that he's had for the last year, it wasn't a good session. By the end, he was sprawled out on the floor, destitute and forlorn. So we listened to all of the songs, what we have so far and that just shot his confidence till the clip was empty. Stupid singers and their esteem issues. He said that "Plastic Head" needs to be retracked. All of it. The song was too slow. That'll take a day to do the instruments. He said that the solo on "One Day" needs to be the one I recorded for the demo. He wants to redo all vocal tracks. (roll eyes.)

So I had this haunting sensation on Monday that everything I was doing was wrong. Working on music is just a pipe dream that's going to go nowhere and I'm just living in Madison right now pretty much for the music. If it weren't for the band, I'd probably be living in Montana right now. I almost moved on Tuesday. Packed up and left. Figure out the situation after the deed was done.

Tuesday came and went with me pushing through the day. I filled out my application for paralegal school and sent it in. I've had it for almost a month now and it took me five minutes to fill out. No commitment, just the idea of doing something that I'm not apeshit hogwash crazy about, and going to school for it. But it travels, like turning wrenches or pouring drinks. You can do it anywhere.

So that's it. I'm in a funk... the rickety funk of springtime doldrums. Pushing myself past the easy road to depression and keeping focused on getting myself out from under the opression of the B.O.A Constrictor so I can finally tell them to fuck off for good.

Gotta get some work done now. These services don't enter themselves into the computer.

Self-indlugent crap post

"Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window and go back to sleep.

Lay your head down child. I won't let the boogeymen come. Count their bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums. Pay no mind to the rabble. Pay no mind to the rabble.

Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums.

Pay no mind what other voices say. They don't care about you, like I do, (like I do.) Safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils, see, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.

Just stay with me, safe and ignorant. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son. They're one and the same.

I must isolate you. Isolate and save you from yourself.

Stay with me, safe and ignorant. Just stay with me. I'll hold you and protect you from the other ones.

The evil ones, don't love you son. Go back to sleep."


* * * * *

I miss the tall green grass turned brown full of grasshoppers as mule deer stare silently stoic on the rise above the gravel road for running in the middle of nowhere soon too soon turned into "Suburbia" with fake trees and sod lawns meticulously watered each night like robbers-stealing-gold-from-the-only-stagecoach-through-these-parts out of the river that pulls all the silt from the fires of last summer down to the ocean if not for the hydroelectric dams.

I miss sitting in one spot for hours and moving the world beneath wheels while the dreams of sessions in isolation booths spill their woven magic into my state of staring and moon craters and sand blasting and cigarette smoke for miles.

I miss lack of hope.

I miss that the most.

Meow Meow

This is almost as good as Chamberlain auditioning for Danny J's Metal Project. Hailing a taxi from Trav's, rollin' out to Mt. Horeb.

But it comes nowhere close to Travis putting on his own production of A Streetcar Named Desire with his cats. That would be worth a website. Not to mention totally worth seeing, even with the nip floatin' around.

(rather than mention anything about the Libby verdict. It's just unfortunate that nothing is going to be done about the rest of them. Hit the scapegoat with a few years in minimum security and then let him out and no one will remember it. It'll be forgotten by '08 anyway unless Cheney decides he has a chance at being president.)