B.O.A. Constrictor

I received this e-mail from one of my slavemasters today.

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Extend your 6.99% Promotional APR until October 2007*

It's time for a balance transfer.

Dear Z,
RE: Your account number ending in XXXX

Need extra cash this winter? Enjoy the warmth of a balance transfer. With a click, you can transfer balances, and use your promotional 6.99% APR through your statement closing date in April 2007. If a transfer is completed by your statement closing date in April 2007, then the promotional APR will be extended until October 2007. With just one monthly payment it's the perfect opportunity to:

Create extra cash flow when you transfer balances from higher-rate credit cards.
-Arrange for your dream vacation.
-Simplify your life by paying monthly bills with your credit card.
-Handle your finances conveniently on one statement.

Why not? Just click to open up a world of new possibilities for yourself. Go to exoticrapefantasies.com to transfer balances.

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Here's my reply. (I did send this to customer support.)

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Dear Bank of America

I really appreciate it when you encourage me to continue my apprenticeship in your indentured servant program, but I feel that I'm really not the person you're looking for. This position you have offered me has kept me in one place for far too long and there are other things I really have to do.

You see, I'm not a consumer anymore. I'm a creator, and a creator doesn't need things like televisions, extravagant dinners, leather sofas, or ipods that cost too much and take far too much of my energy. This energy is better spent creating and I have all the tools I will ever need to create.

So, continue raping the souls of the masses. I see no harm, if fucking people with no Vaseline till they bleed a horrible, soulless death is in fact, the moral thing to do... as long as your vacations are paid for, your ugly, waste-of-space houses stand over your heads, and your pampered children grow up with overpriced gadgets made from petrochemicals paid for in blood. Where's the foul?

Sincerely,

Z


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I doubt I'll get a response.

(AG, you know what I'm talking about.)