Suspense, it'll kill you...

You know I'm doing this just to drag it out right. I could have written this damn story a while ago... but I did scribble out a rough draft on my lunch break. I'll get it finished tonight (maybe) but definitely before I head off to Big Sky Country.

In the "mean"time I will leave this transcribed excerpt from the book I started reading today. The View From Nowhere

"The question of how to combine the external view of this embarrassing but unavoidable activity with the view from inside is just another instance of our ubiquitous problem. Even those who regard philosophy as real and important know that they are at a particular and, we may hope, early stage of its development, limited by their own primitive intellectual capacities and relying on the partial insights of a few great figures from the past. As we judge their results to be mistaken in fundamental ways, so we must assume that even the best efforts of our own time will come to seem blind eventually. This lack of confidence should be an integral part of the enterprise, not something that it needs a historical argument to produce. We also have to recognize that philosophical ideas are acutely sensitive to individual temperament, and to wishes. Where the evidence and the arguments are too meager to determine a result, the slack tends to be taken up by other factors. The personal flavor and motivation of each great philosopher's version of reality is unmistakable, and the same is true of many lesser efforts."

Susan and I have had discussions about the current state of philosophy. She contemplated working on her Ph.D. in philosophy but decided that it was just too dead. Rather, she chose something relating to Medieval History. So... yeah... but I understand her reasoning. But finding this book and getting into it, with the prospect of grad school darkening the western skies, helps keep me interested in philosophy as more than just a major I chose out of interest over market employability. (damn "punk rock" ethic. Why couldn't I have settled on a nice sell-out degree?)

There were other lines that stood out to me. I don't have the free time to indulge here. Work duties supposedly call. And if that didn't engage you, I wrote some crap last night...

The post about the trucks

I've FINALLY put up my ad for my Dodge. I got the replacement title (the clean one) from the state of Montana Dept. of Justice Motor Vehicles Division in the mail about a 1.5 weeks ago. After that, it was just one thing after another that kept me from doing it.

$600. You want it?





You can have it. It needs a new alternator and some electronic deal-ie replaced. I didn't really pay much attention to it after I found out the price tag for the repairs. (Forget it, I'm selling it.) It'll need two tires before winter as well.

Just as Ol' Green was acting up, I (on a whim) applied for an auto loan from my bank. They approved the amount I asked for and said it would be available for 30 days while I found a vehicle to purchase. In about a two weeks time, I was driving this thing around.


Notice the stylish similarity in color. Coincidence. All I was looking for was a manual pickup with 4 wheel drive. It's a nice ride. More room in the cab. A topper and a liner with the bed. 4 doors. All around it's not a bad upgrade (until I have to put in a new clutch.) And the money from the Dodge is going to pay for new tires. It'll be too much fun to drive around once it starts snowing if I keep the old ones (even with the 4wd. Not enough tread, and I think they may be undersized.)

And these pictures were taken with my new camera that I bought for my upcoming trip. Four more days. I really can't wait.

And I'm still working on the haunted house story. (By working on it I mean not working on that, but rather doing other shit.)

UPDATE: 10/24/07 - Apparently someone can see these pictures. I wasn't able to. I think it had something to do with some post editing and stuff... deleted them on accident... I don't know. Anyway. I reinserted them. Blogspot rules!!!

Awaiting trial

So hold your breath fair reader (I'm referring to the other person who reads this blog besides myself (that's right, I re-read my work and bask in my self-perceived inter-galactical "awesomeness."))

I am actually working out a post in word rather than my usual seat-of-the-wrinkled-trousers approach because it's an involved story and I really want to do it justice. It has to do with the last two email exchanges that served as placeholders for real posts earlier this week. I don't want to do that thing that bad comedians do and say, "Okay, this is going to be really funny." However, I will say that I don't think I've ever laughed as much, or as hard, in a 36 hour period as I did in the last 36 hours.

I swear it'll be done by tomorrow. (sure)

In the interim ("Interim Principal") I will leave you with something from one of my newer projects.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

currently untitled (1st draft)

The well, well, well's run dry, dry, dry. We need more words
for "bitter". That would make things easier. Easier for
phrasing and pleasing. And I ain't been pleased by the current state
of progress. Years ahead of the curve, years behind in the
bend. Take the dividing curtain and split it from
floor to ceiling. Then take out the ceiling.
Never served a goddamn purpose nohow anyways.

No one. No where. Pinches. Punches. Pincers. Lance-ettes.
Sly spots. Perforation in the shape of this soft pulsing.
"I could raise more cats on this farm if the city didn't
have that asinine law."

But it's alright for everyone to skate to their places
of business on sheets of glass. It's all a gas, gassed out,
too many motorcycle hill climb rallies with burly, barrel-chested
women and scantily clad men.

SOLID FUCKING GOLD! (Shouts "Gold!", fires finger-
pistols in the air erstwhile making gunshot sound effects with
his bristly-beard-surrounded, tooth-missing mouth.)


"Yokels," uttered in disgust.

Re: Take the "unit" out

(((Travis' Initial Message)))

--- Travis wrote:
> sorry i was a bit out of it and texting so much at
> the end of evening...didn't intend to be rude...some
> of it was just that "supernatural" comedown...good
> times.
>
> later
> the "13"
>

(((My Reply)))

Travis,

I had no problems with the way last night wound down. Did you hear how much I was shouting at the Tee Vay? I was enjoying myself watching the Based Balls game. "Boring, Boring! (wind up for pitch) Oh, here comes some action! (after the pitch) Boring." I find it funny so everyone else should too. Besides, I wasn't expecting you to entertain me the way Stas does on a normal Thursday night. That would cross several lines too many. And I'm not talking about state lines either.

I was thinking about the whole Supernatural progression from season one to season three. Was season one as x-files/buffy as the episode we watched last night. Maybe I haven't seen enough of the show to really get a good feel for it all. The intuitive flow of the story. I didn't much like the introduction of the new (potentially re-occuring) character AFTER they brought in the chick with the knife AND the guy in prison from last season's finale. I thought the show was about the brothers... (I mean really, who are they? Ehhh?) ((I forgot to mention the Demon who gave the soul deal from the end of last season))

Danny J's email about the hotmail debacle is top notch funny. Haywired jackhammer of des-something-or-other. I laughed pretty hard at his frustration.

No news on the birthday get-down-from-there from Steve or Leah. Steve suggested it may be just a roommates and significant others gathering (how rude! after all I don't even bother to do for them?) So whatever. Maybe tonight would be a great night to get plastered (to a tour bus) and car surf all the way to Toronto. You can slam dance the whole way there.

I still owe you money for the 7th. I remembered it again this morning as I was walking to work. I have the funds available today. I should just give you the scratch for next 7th as well.

The experiments are going smoothly. Like we thought, straw does indeed burn, but not the way we thought it would.

Nothing else as of yet.

Z-bot

(((Travis' Inevitiable Reply to My Reply)))

Travis wrote----

> last night was a 'lil bit goofier (with the pratfalls and all...)
> then it normally is...sometimes the episodes are a bit darker...
> last season especially...i thought last night was funny in spots...
> and the idea of them being hunted by another "hunter" (though
> a little annoying, i don't doubt they're gonna go places with
> him being a religious man) is intriguing... besides, they killed
> off the seasons 1 and 2 villan last season, so they have a dire
> need for recurring antagonists...as do i.

(((and My Reply to Travis the Second Time)))

T-Dawgg

I did like the religious man "hunter" being used by the dude in jail. The dude in jail isn't on the 'good' side anymore, right? So the go-go-God hunter is being played like a fiddle by a Jamacian Devil.

I did forgot to mention the other character they introduced the end of last season in the woman/demon that gave they younger brother (Sam?) back his soul for the older brother's (Dean?).

There's too goddamn much going on in that show for me to keep track without having watched it as much as other people have...

Did you catch Danny's reference to Alpo as his canned food item he's going to bring to the haunted house tonight? He's got your cans of broth beat... sure it's food but I'd rather just go hungry. With the broth, at least you can crack it open and be fairly certain that it's fit for human consumption.

I think I'm just going to pay the three dollars. If those fuckers want me to do the leg work for their food pantry donation, they've got another think coming. I already gave one of the homeless guys outside the men's shelter a spare square (Not but five minutes after I was thinking about how in college I used to tell people bumming smokes from me on campus that I didn't smoke, as smoke was pouring out my mouth with the words. I would give them one anyway but I couln't help myself.) I did contemplate pulling that routine on the guy but he's not a college student with at least enough rationality to get into a state school.

I was also thinking about Halloween in general, and more specifically, my general disinterest in the whole affair. I think in the end, I'm just not that into it because it wasn't ever a magical night for me as a kid (being raised to believe that it was the Devil's Holiday) and growing up in mostly rural settings didn't afford for a whole lot of loot grabbing. Couple that with all those fucking packets of bullshit sweettarts and you've got some sour grapes for memories. As I've gotten older, I have begun to see it as another escapist endeavor. (Just scan-check the college co-ed costumes downtown to get a sense of what I'm getting at here. There goes a sexy nurse, there goes a sexy playboy bunny, there goes a sexy bee, (since when is a bee ever sexy? Oh yeah. When the european colonists brought over the European Honeybee which gave them a significant crop growing edge over the indigenous peoples they were uprooting for their venture capital projects. Sexy!!!)

Seriously though, I think I have some work I need to get done. Fucking Miami Subpoena came in on the Fax-o-ma-phone. Gotta find a professor...

In deep thought/shit,
(BuzZ)ach

(((and the Final Return!!!)))
>
> you could be right about your roots in halloween...you
> see, halloween was a magical time of year for young
> travis...cool costumes, candy, my mother went all out
> decorating, it was an event...my parents would take me
> into town to trick-or-treat with my cousins...good times.
>
> i feel you on the costume scene, though...why do i think
> i wear a sheet labeled "ghost" with holes cut into it? pure
> parody, and the wankers don't even know it's going about
> right under their merry noses...ooooohhhh a sexy pirate,
> a sexy vampire/nurse, a sexy astronaut...get real and then
> get bent, posers...
>

As the day "drug" on...

Most days I normally have a book or two, a daily crossword, or some sort of writing that needs editing in my backpack waiting for when things die down at work.

Most days in October seem to be without down time, so I didn't have anything cued up in my stash last week when there was a moment or two for just sitting with a mug of coffee... So I pulled some paper and made these...

So go ahead and say whatever...

MC Chris is coming to your town tonight...

So I wrote out this nice long post about the show Monday night to subsequently lose it. Nice. It was the best post I've ever written (likely story.)

First off, he's much taller than I had hoped and it seems like he's lost weight. Good for him.

I finished up at work around 9pm and drove over the The Annex to see a group of kids, most of them in black hoodies, standing around the door, smoking cigarettes. That meant that I had missed the opening act, Rob DZ (local Madison Hip Hop Celeb.) but that I was wearing the correct attire. Since it was an 18+ show, I figured I may be in the upper end of the age range there that night... and I was. Best to at least look the part.

I walk in and there's rap music being spun by a DJ and more people milling around. I spot Rob DZ at the bar, sitting there talking to some guy. I got a beer and stood in the crowd listening to the music and waited for MC Chris to take the stage. As it turns out he was stalling since he didn't have all of his music so he didn't go on for roughly an hour.

When he finally got on stage, he came out and did a remix version of some song I'm completely forgetting right now. I was mostly just amazed that his voice sounded the way it did live. Almost like a munchkin. Mesmerizing. He performed most of the songs I really like, Evergreen, Ratz, W33D, The Creep, Geek, a truncated version of I Want Candy, a rough version of 'Tussin, and a rousing chorus of The Gambler. Fett's Vett was his closer, naturally but he shut off his music partway through the song and did it a Capella. Nice touch. It was disappointing that he didn't play as many songs but he explained that he had lost most of his music when his hard drive crashed a few weeks ago. He did get a replacement external hard drive but then he knocked it off the table at a show and that was ruined too. So he didn't have a whole lot of music to rap over.

During his first set break, he brought to our attention a gentleman standing at the front of the stage and informed us that this same gentleman had walked into the bathroom earlier that evening and walked into the stall he was shitting in and said, "uh... are you MC Chris?" The guy was acting like he was all cool for being called out for his egregious actions. It's one of those situations where he didn't realize that he was in a bad place for being a jackass. You don't do something like that and then stand at the front of the stage. At some point in his tirade about the whole ordeal about privacy and taking a dump, MC Chris said, "When a man is taking a shit you tiptoe around that motherfucker!" At the end of his rant, he was telling the douche to get to the back of the room or he was going to have security called to have him removed. The guy didn't get his point until security was actually moving for him. Too funny. Towards the end of the rant, we were all shouting for him to get to the back so the show could continue.

This happened a second time but with a different person. This time it was a blond chick standing up front with her boyfriend. During his first set break, he said something to her along the lines of, "if that guy's your boyfriend, you better stop making those fuck me eyes at me." Sure enough, during a pause in songs later in the evening, he sent her to the back of the room. She knew that he was serious so she left without much of a fight but when she got to the back, she ended up standing next to me in front of the mixing board. I heard her shout something about how he's ugly. She didn't even mention his short stature or a resemblance to a troll/gnome/goblin. So uncreative.

After it was all said and done, I bought a t-shirt and had him sign it. When I was standing in the autograph line, some skank pissed him off. It was a classic, "I'm so hot for you Mr. Celebrity" "Get out of here you skank." "You're an untalented, ugly shit!" exchange. Worth the price of admission.

All in all it was an alright show. I didn't expect the crowd to show it's appreciation as is the case with most 18+ shows. Kids just don't know how to have a good time at a live show these days, it seems. Maybe I see it a little differently since I had a few beers and they were only stoned. (Maybe that's why they were so sedated. Hmm...)

So yeah. Take that, second attempt at a post that was the best post ever.

And that white spot on his face that picture is some rain that got on the lens of my camera which he asked if I got in Poland. I told him it was Vintage Chinese.

Re: this is getting annoying...

***** Travis' Message *****

--- Travis wrote:
> does chicken broth count as a "canned food" item?
> if it does, i have my (and a couple fortunate
> friends') tickets into the haunted dealie this
> Friday...
>
> i guess you could say i have the "fright"
> stuff...that's never going to get old...
>

***** MY Reply *****

Travis! (Spoken like your mother would say it.)

I don't think that it doesn't count but you (and your friends) look like a real jerk(s) if you show up with Chicken Broth.

(Shaking head)

(shrugs shoulders)

But who am I to judge? Maybe there's some needy people who visit the food pantry to get broth because they can't keep down solid foods... because they're alcoholics and whatever. I don't know.

(sighs)

I slept like crap last night again. I'm starting to get tired of not sleeping well (get it, tired. Ha!) Even crashed out on the couch with Deano wasn't that good of a nap. Perhaps I just don't have the "night moves" to get things done in the sleep dept. anymore. I'll just resign myself to a waking life and eventually end up in a sleep study at the university, trying to raise enough money for a DVD player. After I buy the swords.

(pauses, stares out the window at the blacktop while a fly lands on his arm.)

I really hate my jobs. All of them. I think I would best be served by hanging up the guitar, the photocopy skills, and the "congratulations, you're being sued" party patrol, and moving to a new city with a graduate program that suits my needs. But it's only Monday. We'll see how I feel after the MC Chris show tonight. "MC Chris is coming to your town tonight."

(thinks through the chorus to the song, mostly the music. the lyrics are just a jumble. Music is almost the same thing as the "Uh-Oh" music from Sea Lab 2021. Huh...)

(Contemplates purchasing a gun this evening, quickly hides that idea.)

I've got some things to do... or something. Lots of backlog Affidavits, Invoices, Document Requests, and I'm just sitting here. Wasting away in margarit... nevermind. Stupid parrotheads!

Z

***** Travis' Response to My Reply *****

> Subject: Flushing Meadows
>
> so you think the broth may be bad form, 'eh...
>
> just curious...i don't want to be "that guy"...it's not like it's
> old broth or anything; i can vagely remember buying it,
> although i'm sort of at a loss as to why i bought it...but i
> digress...somebody out there has got to be on a liquid
> diet or hankerin' to make some chicken soup and perhaps
> my most generous contribution will help turn a fanciful
> afternoon's daydream into a lush, steaming, delicious reality...
>
> which is the only kind of reality i'd waste my time
> showing up for.
>
> i mean, i have both chicken and beef varieties...one
> of the cans of chicken may even be "low fat"...charity
> can be "health-conscious"...
>
> leaving my mark on society, one can at a time...
>
> the "13"

Ripe, ripped from the headlines

As I was running around Friday from "Health and Family" to "Federal Court" to FedexKinkos to the dank pits I work in, supposedly called "office" (whatever the hell that means), I kept seeing the cover o' the Wisco State Journal in those little newspaper dispenser boxes. (I want that job! Standing in one place for years, taking change and giving out crosswords and horrorscopes.)

Headline went something like, "LOOKIE HERE! DUDE SHOT PEOPLE, GA-HILK!!! NOW READ THE 911 TRANSCRIPTS, HERE, FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!" (assuming you know how to read)

I don't want this to come across as another post where I almost spill my dirty secret that I don't think death is as big a deal as we all are supposed to act/believe/feel whatever. I don't like to explain that to people. It's taken years of hard work to build up these kinds of callouses. Alright.

Okay, so a guy shot his ex and some kids at a party... and he killed them and they were all pretty much kids, and it's a small town, it's terribly tragic (and I do emphasize that it is tragic) in the sense that it was needless and pointless and irrational to a fault. But what bothered me was the way in which the headline and the front page "picture" seemed like a gratuitous attempt to get me to buy the paper because it had excerpts of the emergency phone calls in a larger type... "he's shooting to kill, he shot at my head, etc." (Not the actual quotes.)

What I'm getting at is this. (Attention: point. (none?)more like question posed, accusations thrown, fingers pointed, self critically analyzed/scrutinized(check the half-baked ideas section of the index.))

At what point does my standing, gawking a-gape, rubbernecking become not so much a social concern for the community I live in and instead turn into just another passing story like so much of an lazy afterknoon serial?

This is a dark well to tread water in... Or as if it's a two week shoot of baboons during the drought season and they're desperate enough to drink water from the river that's full of large predatory reptiles. When one of 'em gets snapped, the rest sit and chatter and squawk, in groups of convenient comfort.

Or maybe I'm just repulsed by my own morbid curiosity of the details...

Rather that, Here's something more enjoyable to read, lovingly crafted by Joey Vochich

* * * * * * * * *

10/11/07...
lookingforward to it...
to what?...

(to the chaos and structure of tomorrow...)

ummmmmm.....

we will make eye contact with humans...and then hide...
(hide and move on...)

and i see
and you
and me
and us...
the same humans...but only sometimes.

us?

(U.S.A....U.S.A....U.S.A.!!!!!!!!!!!)

You see dear friend, i grew up during the Cold War.
With trick el down economy and darkness...
and thank god (god damn it!)
(for the sheen of pop).

with BOOM boxes and breakin 2 electric boogaloo...

yes, here we are...at the cusp of another christmas and another city winter

of patterns and local news and
disgusting!
just give me the weather forcast god damn it!!!
...and the score of the game...

the big game...

("the future cannot and will not be predicted...")

this is all i know...
this is all i want to know...

let go let go let go...

LETS GO!!!!!

(these words are not just for me...they are for you as well)

HEAVY DUDE...HEAVY!!

(and the clerk at the coffee house had the kind of eye contact that slows you down and forces you to
acknowledge the existence of suffering)...heavy....
"ummm...i'll take a large coffee."
"for here or to go?"
"ummm....to go."
"room for cream?"
"ummmm..."

"what does eric clapton and coffee have in common?"
"they both suck without cream."

"i like my coffee the way i like my men...strong and black."

(that's not funny.)

through discipline and dedication to what's for the best...

i lie to myself at least ten times a day...20+ on the weekends...
especially when i'm....

yeah yeah yeah...
god damn it...fuck...fuck it!
the clouds are rolling in....

shivering in the am, now that the earth is tilting
the other way

BlueBlockers ready...with made in china and american belly/baby fat

phlegm release almost complete...
for another this and another that

another yes and no and maybe...asapasapasapasap...

(whispering now...voice cracking...u.s.a...u.s.a...)

with moments of losing and winning and not caring...
this is it...

another 15minutes of you and me and whatever...

Thank you for reading.

If you just sneezed, well then god bless you child.

If you just yawned, you should go to sleep or drink some water.

Love,

Joe

* * * * * * * * *

Will do. Think I need both. Can't sleep. Two days now.

Storm brewing in the back of my skull, right behind the pounding headache that started towards the end of rehearsal today. First time back as the full band since August. Too Long. But we worked on our rendition of Bjork's Bachelorette
to the point of having a sense that we can at some point pull it off live, in front of people.

It's a great song. Off a great album. I consider it the perfect soundtrack to a solo day on Lone Peak with a Burton Frontier 170.

Alright. Kristin, you complained that my posts weren't as involved as they used to be. Here's a masterwork of cutting, pasting, and "researching" in the wee hour o' tha' morn'. Madden's calling and there's much studio work to do tomorrow (don't worry, it's all bass tracks. I can sleep through most of it, then veto it on final listen through and make "Thirteen" do it again.)

(and I keep trying to put apostrophes where they don't belong. Time to stop typing.)

Stutter-Butter Tastes Better

It's been forever since I've put any time in on the internets. I guess you could accuse me of not GIVING A DAMN!

Yeah.

Bitter, angry, moody, general piss-ed-off-ish-ness floating round today like a quick drink of water. Where do I want to eat tonight? Probably a restaurant, probably by myself. Fiesty doesn't go well with others.

Two weeks till I leave the Wisco for a week and then it'll be three weeks and I'll be back here sitting in this office that reeks of smoke, feeling bored/angry/malaise. Crack a bottle. Crack a grin across your back.

I have been writing though, not here, not at the other one (decanterbury tales) but I've been scribbling words on paper in my free time and then transmogifying them into files that I can print out and edit and edit. I found an interesting Buh-cow-ski quip, something about how reading your own writing shouldn't bore you because if it does, you can be sure that it will be boring to others who read it. (subtext: why are you still reading my blog?)

That said, I'm still kicking around the idea of putting together a self-published chapbook. Not a huge run, available by request, madcap poetry (if you dare call it that) more words slapped together like spaghetti noodles and broken glass, called art in the name of all that is literalarily holy.

Ugh.

Stumbled onto a site that I'm not going to link to that reminded me of a nightmare I once had. That's really what's kicking me in the nuts right now.

Three weeks, pictures, maybe not here, link to pictures from an excursion... we'll see.

Keep faith and all... yeah yeah yeah./

Do you realize?

I had the wonderful pleasure of seeing the Flaming Lips perform live a few Saturday's ago. It was an outdoor show. It was a beautiful day/evening. It was free. Holy cow was that the best five bucks for parking I've ever paid.

But that said. I got the news about Ol' Green. Alternator shot. Drive something something computer fried due to alternator shorting out. Total repair price, too much to justify fixing just to raise the price for sale.

My best option is to ask for enough to get a new set of tires for the new truck (which has yet to be named.)

So after burning out the transmission on the old Hyundai and selling that for $400, I didn't learn my lesson to get rid of the vehicle before it becomes worthless. I think it's going to sink in this time. Had the repairs not cost much, I could have tried to sell Ol' Green for enough to knock a year off my new auto loan. As is stands now, I'm just going to have to be content to continue to be the slave of my unhealty participation in american consumer culture. (Squeeze some more of my soul out while I still got some.)

Bugger.

In other news, the band, or what's left of the band, is still around. Doing stuff. What stuff? I don't know. It's been a busy month and a half. Fuck. It's been a busy as hell year so far. We have to keep postponing tracking the rest of the drums for one reason or another. I'm still waiting to get rough mixes of all the tracks to give a through listen to them and decide which ones need to be done just one more time. It really doesn't matter. At this rate, we'll be retracking these same damn songs again in a few months. Right? If history has anything to say about it. I've already laid down demos of these songs. We recorded them last spring. We're doing it again right now. It never ends. The worst part is that it gets in the way of working on new material. Better material. Songs that will blow your brain out the back of your head. (Subject to personal taste, of course.)

I've had some good ideas lately. Better turns on the same theme. Variations in song construction. Different approaches to this thing called music.

Travis said it best on Sunday when we were talking about the Donald Driver Show* on our way over to Dan and Amanda's to watch the Packer game. "Television is so boring because it's always trying to mimic reality. They can do anything they want, absolutely anything, and yet you end up watching fucking King of Queens or Two and a Half Men. That's five men." (That's not a direct quote but he said something similar to that.)

But he's right. We have these prescribed forumlae sitting within arms reach. The creative stuff, the truly creative stuff is sitting in boxes on shelves. Sure you can get at them, but you'd have to get off your ass to do it. And no one wants to work that hard, right? So I guess I'm going to end up writing some more Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Solo, Verse, Chorus x 2, Outro songs and call it a day.

* the Donald Driver Show is a real show. It's a boring talk show where people sit in some studio and talk with Donald Driver and his guests about the Green Bay Packers, the NFL, and not much else. Last season, Travis and I decided that the Donald Driver Show (which I've never watched, unfortunatly) would be better if it was a sit-com staring Donald Driver. His next door neighbor would be played Brett Farve. They wouldn't be foorball players. The highlight of the show each week would be some spectacular diving catch that Donald Driver makes. The Thanksgiving episode would feature him diving for the turkey as it for some wacky reason gets knocked off the table. There would be one where he catches a baby, an expensive vase, etc. And then there would be the Brett Farve joke where anything he tossed (be it keys, a basketball, a kid) would end up in Minnesota. What we were discussing on Sunday would be the off episode where for some reason Donald Driver would travel through time and end up as a football player (a la Quantum Leap) having to win a game. It's still in the developmental stages. Obviously.

Heel Draggin'

In an unprecidented move, I've taken a long 37 months to get rid of Ol' Green, my beloved '93 Dodge Dakota. I still own it, but I am picking up my new "ride" tomorrow. A seven year upgrage to a pollution machine that will only aid in creating more ecological misfortune.

Ol Green has decided to be a disgruntled little child and break down not three days before I get his replacement. Seems as though the alternator has been the target this time and the check engine light turned on (diagnotics yet to be run on that... seems to be running alright though, but that's never a good indicator.)

I finally got the financing lined up today and the title is ready for the exchange tomorrow. Hurray. No more 15 mpg. Just another car payment and the usual routine of living.

But I would rather be getting something like this.

A co-worker of mine has already put his name on the waiting list. But he's semi-retired and has the money to do that. Maybe in ten years, I'll be able to afford something like that... yeah right. Not with a worthless liberal arts degree and jobs that don't offer cost of living raises.

I did have a discussion with him about or continued reliance on lnag distance transportation. This is an idea that I started kicking around back in college. The notion that we as greedy, self-serving americans (or humans, perhaps) feel it's our RIGHT!!! to be able to live thirty, fourty, fifty miles away from a major population center yet still be able to go there when we feel like it, not just out of necessity for supplies.

Park county Montana has two main population centers. Gardner and Livingston. There is roughly fifty miles between the two town. And yet that drive will take you past large house after large house (some of them former ranches split up into subdivisions.) If you were to take all of that land and turn it into something more useful than a personal playground for rich folks and force those rich folks to live within a certain radius of the several population centers, you would make a lot of people unhappy that their personal freedom to consume, use, and hoard land would be gone, but you could do some things to affect environmental (and possibly economic) for the communities.

It is by no means a completely thought out idea. I just have some fanciful visions at this point and I don't see myself ever really making it into something to argue about, but it's there. Concentrate populations to aid in economy (not to be confused with "the economy"), force people to live near the supermarkets, barber shops, and watering holes. Keep the land in a more natural state, blah blah blah... enviromental ideaology. Truth is, people don't care. Don't give a damn. They're concerned about themselves. What they want, and how they can get it. Plain and simple.

People suck.

Twisting

It's already September but it seems like ages ago I was talking about how pre-season football was only a few weeks away.

Fortune says that it's a good thing August is gone. I'm in agreeance with fortune. But September and October are going to be just as chaotic.

Re-tracking all songs for the album. Finally started on that yesterday. Drums for three songs are supposedly done but we'll take a listen to them when we go back to the studio (whenever that is). Danny and Travis are not comfortable playing along to the click. I'm used to it so I have less patience for them. They should be at my level and what-have-you, etc.

I bought a plane ticket to take a vacation at the end of October. I'm going to head back to Montuckey for a week in the fairest of the seasons, "Huntin' Season!" and no, I'm not a hunter. It's as I like to refer to as "the Fairest of the Seasons." (I listened to Nico's Chelsea Girls a lot one fall when I lived there.) I want to be there when I remember it being most pleasant as if it ever isn't.

So trips to the gym. Working on new demos for the vocalist. Re-tracking everything at a snails pace. Watching the regular season of the NFL unfold from week to week. Writing more crap prose-poetry and staring at the stars. It doesn't seem like there's a lot in there but there is. Managing a band, being the principal song-writer and producer is going to suck up a lot of free time (not Madden '07 and my Dynasty NHL Team, the Milwaukee Butt Monkies)

I had some different things I was going to post about. News, entertainment, tra la la la la, etc., but I have lost interest in that stuff (from last week or two.)

Keeping it real? Good, I'm not either.

Band Drama!!! and the Fox

Travis.

After spending a nice relaxing dinner (they prepared a delicious salmon chowder that I couldn't resist, and you know how picky I am about eating fish, but alas, I had to eat it because it was superbly delicious) with Sam and Megan and Will and Chris in Oconomowoc followed with heavy lifting (I helped unload their moving truck full of their new kitchen from Ikea) I rolled into downtown Milwaukee (I think I saw "the Fox" but it was kinda foggy and misty and my wipers don't work too well these days so maybe it was just a "harley dude" with a fedora) and kicked it with Joey Vochich (OMG it's Joey Fukin Vochich!) for a few hours talking about stuff (like his surreal week past)

He said that he had already sent an e-mail to Jakey at the Klinic confirming our acceptence of his offer to perform on Friday night as Where the i Divides without an answer from Danny J. and he said that he did so because if Danny makes up some excuse, we're going to play the show without him, performing our acoustic set in a similar fashion to last Tuesday in Greenfield park.

We also discussed the rediculously long message on Danny's answering machine and how it prevented me from leaving him a message on Saturday (due to my refusal to listen to it, YET AGAIN) and he said that he's going to "have words" with him about that along with some other assorted odds and ends that are irking him about Danny's "lack of professionalism". I think our showdown between the two of them may soon be more than just speculation. I can't wait to see them go at it. Bring my popcorn and my beer and get a front row seat. It should be a good one. Joe's got the height advantage but Danny has the military training.

I'll see you later tonight and we'll discuss these things in greater depth and also perhaps a missive about the struggling Milwaukee Brewers and their trouncing given out last eve in Arizona. What a game!!!

Sincerely,

Zach

--- Travis wrote:

> by the way (no, not that awful chili peppers song)

> what's the good word on that prospective klinic

> Friday night deal? are we going to be rocking? i

> hope so...

>

Strom a commin'

So whatever.

Slacking at work. Not doing what needs to be done. I'm waiting for the day to end. Where the i Divides is playing it's first "acoustic" show tonight at a park in Milwaukee. It's not an offical acoustic show (hence the quotes) because I'm playing my electric and Trav is playing an acoustic. Danny is not going to be at this gig. He's decided that he needs his sleep over playing a weekday show. (Yeah. We're that important that people will want us on the weekends because we draw so many fans and whatever.)

The recording that we have been ingnoring all summer has finally been "scrapped" thanks largely in part to our Engineer admitting that he improperly mic'ed the drums and that he was having a hell of a time mixing drums and that affects the overall sound and then Dan wants to retrack everything with click track (why the hell didn't he want to do that six months ago? I'll never know.) So we're going to re-record everything for a great deal of a steal that our engineer is throwing our way. I don't want it to take forever but it's going to.

I have decided that I'm going to simplify the number of guitar tracks. Strip things down. Work with bare minimum. Avoid the excess because that seems to create a void in the recordings. There's so much guitar that it kinda becomes a wash-out and fades into the back. It's not as distinct and discernable as it could/should be.

We have learned a few things from our first run at recording. I hope to got it doesn't take us 100 hours like the last time. (we'll see)

Take a break and take five

My friend Leah has this thing on her website called the Reviewery.

Here's her take on the Take-5 Candy Bar

"Though you cannot see, Caramel, Peanuts, and Pretzels (Chocolate and Peanut Butter will come out the other end later) are all flying out of my mouth in disgust and bewilderment. Tears are coming out of my eyes, not from pain or the projectile puke, but of sadness that the wonderful people at Hershey's made a disappointing and, I'll just say it, ass-gross candy bar."

The Count's #1 american super vending machine exTRAVaganza

This Gem was sitting in my inbox. It's good to have friends.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

those andy capp's hot chili cheese fries have finally come to the
forefront in the vending machine..."someday i will be that very dog and
the day shall be mine alone..."

and now here they sit, bag open, upon my desk.

now i know i shouldn't eat thee...(due to my stomach issues and all,
which are not entirely better) but this is for science.

they pull off the "chili" more convincingly than they accomplish the
"cheese"; which is more of a suggestion than a flavor and may be
destined to be overtaken by a stronger flavor...namely "chili".

i hope these don't get me sick...i don't have any immediate plans for
eating the whole bag but we both know i merry well will.

see you tonight, barring disaster

t

Once a year we do this

Okay... I ran into an old friend at my high school reunion who's on myspace but I haven't added her as a friend because I haven't talked to her in years but she said that I should be her friend so whatever, it's myspace. It's totally lame but I have a band so it's different. I need it in order to "network" and get my music out the the kids.

That aside, I found this page. I run into this guy and some of his friends from time to time when I stray from my usual public houses but we don't have much in common these days. We used to play soccer back in the day. Way back in the day. But here's why I'm even wasting my time on this...

Please tell me that you have a better picture of yourself than one where you've cropped out someone (who's hand is still in frame) and please tell me that you have a better picture of yourself that doesn't involve holding a drink in your hand. But what would I expect. Check the stats... check the layout... check the wardrobe (Obviously not a floordrobe. He's not sporting the metro-hobo look this year that's all the rage with the indie-rockers who matter.)

Anyway. There are reasons why stereotypes exist. I enjoy running into that crowd from time to time. It's good to have your past ambush you in unexpected places. It reminds me to keep being myself, the self I've crafted over the years... or perhaps the best imitation of myself.

In other news, I picked up a copy of the paper this morning for my yearly ritual of reading the "if you were born today" and here's what it said:

"Your home is your sanctuary this year. You'll definitely put down roots. There'll be a few family disagreements but you can work things out."

I don't know what the hell that means. Put down roots? Does that mean I'm a tree? Does that mean I'm going to be establishing a bullshit residence in this mundane city? And what family is it talking about? Totally stupid.

“One ought not to say to those whom one wants to kill, ‘Give me your votes, because your votes will enable me to kill you and I want to kill you,’ but merely, ‘Give me your votes,’ for once you have the power of the votes in your hand, you can satisfy your desire."

Take the time to read this article.

But more importantly, this is nothing new. The Roman Catholic church was at this for years... during the Dark Ages. It has nothing to do with the soul. It has everything to do with power and control.

The sixth column anyone?

Crux of the Mosh

It's come to a point where I need to do something. What? Something you ask?

No. It's not that simple. Sat at work watching Wimbledon. It's nice to have a television in the office sometimes.

But the issue is that Ol' Green isn't doing so well. I went to Fed. Court to get some docs and ended up discovering that my truck is not only pregnant but just went into labor. The water broke.

Turns out there's a gash in a hose. I'm going to have to see if I can get that fixed but it really makes it a challenege to get all of the band gear to Milwaukee tonight for a stupid show.

Bugger.

Imaginationally Challenged

I was having a discussion with someone about a woman who was an author.

She wrote this book called the Place at the Edge of the Earth. I argued that this was simply all that needed to be said. The rest was meaningless. He didn't agree.

So I looked it up, to see what it was about. (read the summary on the link) and I decided that I'm still right. So I present to you this notion that a title can in fact be the sum total of what needs to be said.

With that, take a few hours to find les Amitiés Maléfiques and watch it. "Why do some people write? Because they're too afraid not to." As one reviewer put it, "The other like perfect prey of our mediocrity."

Just some mid-summer musings. I really haven't taken the time to put effort into much on-line excursions as of late. It's really hard to do that when it's nice outside and the call of life in the real world is a deafening roar. That and my regular schedule's been all out of whack!

Plenty of reading time?

I discovered this website and I think it's pretty dang cool.

I found it by searching for meles meles because I'm a nerd.

I now know that Meles Meles lives clans and they live in burrows that get passed down from generation to generation.

I'm so getting the house once the parents are gone. "Squatters Rights"

Jealousy Sets In

My friend is in Berkley studying Latin all summer. I don't really want to know latin but I'm very jealous of the fact that she's preparing for her doctoral studies at UNM. It's weird to feel this way. Weird indeed.

But I did my own work today. I read through the dialogue Euthyphro (not the best translation through this link. I read in in analogue format) this morning and put some effort into contemplating it today. It's a little much for one sit-down but I kicked this idea around.

"The point which I should first wish to understand is whether the pious or holy is beloved by the gods because it is holy, or holy because it is beloved of the gods. "

Very tough meat to chew on a busy Monday afterknoon. But that was after I contemplated if Socrates was the kind of guy who would just ask you questions to make you look stupid. Or better put, was he "that guy" who plays Devil's Advocate or claims to play Devil's Advocate erstwhile actually just getting his personal rocks off by asking question after question till the person answering them gets irritated, frustrated, confused and finally concedes that the jack-ass of an idiot playing Devil's Advocate is right simply to get them to shut the fuck up.

I still look at these works through the filter of 2K+ years.

Looking at something I haven't looked at in a while

"It is a progressive ideology that, without supernaturalism, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead meaningful, ethical lives capable of adding to the greater good of humanity."

I gotta get a subscription to this magazine.

Lost Time

So much has "gone down" in the last few weeks. I've been hard-pressed to even get to reading my regular blog circuit.

Here's what's been up: (I know everyone is just dying to know!!!)

Where the i Divides rocked the Annex on the 31st of May. It was a blowout show with not a lot of attendance. We didn't get paid this time but we got an invite to play this coming Saturday with some other bands that are more promising to draw some fans. Who knows if anyone will be there when we take the stage, though.

That show on the 31st was also an event starring our manager. She essentially decided that she didn't want to manage us anymore. I'm torn between having her around for the work she took care of and also for being much more involved with what's going on with the band. I guess things will work out. It will be interesting to see if the other members of the band actually figure out that there's a shit load of work to do in order to get more shows booked and more contacts to work with. There's going to be a moment in the near future where I'm going to hear someone say, "We need more shows." At which point I'll respond, "Go ahead and book them youself fuck-head. I'm not the only person in this band who's capable of doing the work to promote it."

I went to Albuquerque over the weekend of the 1st through the 4th. What a nice little vacation that was. I took a mini tour of the town and inspected the grounds at the university of New Mexico. They have a quality graduate program that I'm looking into. I also saw my first Rattlesnake in the wild. That was awesome. The opportunity is there. The potential is there. I even have a place to rent lined up if I decide to go through with it/get accepted. But that's in the future.

After I got back from NM last Monday, I spent the week trying to catch up with what is going on with everything.

I made a list of things to take care of. I've been slowly taking care of them. Slowly but surely. I'm about ready to hire someone to do some database programming. I just need approval from my boss. Once that's done, hell yeah. That will be a huge weight lifted, in more ways than one. The "feng shui" of my living quarters is also a HUGE issue right now so I've been taking time cleaning up small piles of crap. Throwing a lot of stuff out. It's always good to get rid of excess crap.

The band played another show last Saturday in the pasture behind the barn. It's almost time for us to leave the free practice space. We have a new space that we are renting but OF COURSE someone in the band still wants to have one more practice in the barn. I don't. We've already put money down for the other space and we have the key so I don't know why anyone would want to go to the barn except for the fact that they're lazy and don't want to move all of the equipment to the new space. Again, I don't know why that's an issue since I'm the one who will be moving all of the equipment because I have a truck (true) and apparently I'm the only one who knows how to take action (not entirely true).

So congrats for making it through the bitch-fest of a post here on blog dumpster 5000.

In positive news, I'm still off the smoking. I made it through last weekend (with the band) without having a smoke. I've been pushing myself on the treadmill at the gym, trying to up my 2 mile pace. I can get it in under 16 minutes pretty easily but I would like to do it faster but that'll just take time and training. It's a hell of a lot easier to do push myself since my lungs aren't as clogged.

I also picked up a copy of Profit Over People by Noam Chomsky and read that in the last few weeks. I, for some reason, keep getting more and more angry with the basic complacency that smacks me in the face every day. It's as if the citizens of this nation are so oblivious to even the most basic schemes of distraction and pacification. But then again, I'm guilty of it too. I'm a bullshit consumer. I don't care enough to discipline myself even further. I got rid of the tobacco. I rarely watch television. I rarely purchse anything besides food and fuel. I'm trying to get myself into a more simplified state of existence, erstwhile trying to create a band that will someday be a moneymaker. It's a conflict of interest. I think I'll eventually go crazy. That'll be good.

I also heard about a book called Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. I haven't gotten it from the library yet. It's time to get smarter. It's time to get wiser. It's time to simplify. Not just me. Everyone. But who the fuck am I? That's right. So keep on consuming. I'll do it too. And we'll just end up hating ourselves even more. Losing more of our basic civility. Demanding more for just ourselves. More for me. Right? Yeah.

PARTY WEEKEND!!!!

Okay, I'm not really going to go all out and "party." I got band things to do all weekend. Rehearsal tonight. Mixing session looming for tomorrow. Covering the city with flyers for our show on the 31st. But I do want to get to this.

Totally awesome extravagnaza of shoveling sausages into your maw with flocks of others similarly situated as myself.

I missed last year for some reason that I can't remember. The year before I went with Kristin and we had our brat. It went well.

And if you want me to be more specific about my quitting smoking excusrsions, I guess I can let you know (Kristin) that I've had a few cigarettes each Saturday or Sunday, usually in the presence of other band members. It's the only place where I'm tempted to have one. Last Sunday was the first band related activity that I've been at that I didn't have a cigarette. I'm planning on not having one this evening at rehersal. I'm also planning on not having one at the studio while mixing. Is that enough info? You tell me...

So I've been off the devil sticks for about a month now. I've been a lot clearer. Things are a lot clearer. I've got a lot of sorting out to do this summer. New directions are calling and their calling out loud.

I don't have time to expound on them right now.

I've got to rush off to other band related activities.

Till then. Keeping strong without cigarettes.

(I have back-slid in a few (usually on Satuday) scenarios that are a little to "familiar" for the social aspects of smoking... i.e. drinking)

Crustin Timberlake

Two days in a row for a post.

I've been off the radar for a while. You would think that only working part-time would afford me plenty of time to post awesome things about the economy or make these scathing comments about how gas prices are worse than listening to MC 900 Foot Jesus, but in fact, it hasn't really been all that important.

Here's why.

I was talking with a friend of mine who is a journalist about the nature of journalism these days. Seems that the trend, from his perspective, is that with all of the "information" flying around the internets these days, people don't want to watch tv news unless it's exciting. People don't want to hear just the facts, they want opinions and "drama." So I've been wondering why I'm even "blogging." I feel like most of the time, what I post just isn't worth taking up someone else's time, albeit three minutes. Still... How many more times can I entertain people with 'facts' like Boys Over Flowers is a better read than Zatch Bell. Or even better yet, introduce new words into the popular lexicon like "Shonk!" or "Ba-zow!" (I was cracking up about shonk pretty much all morning.)

But the truth is, I've been searching for a new avenue for life. I'm reaching that age that some would call the Saturnic Return and regardless, it's something that's just unsettling. Which dreams do I let die, which do I pursue? When do I decide that Madison is over and it's time to leave for the place that I consider home? How in the hell do I afford any of that? They're all relatively simple questions to answer. But I don't just want words as answers. I want actions.

So I'm taking action. I am reading again. I'm reading a lot of stuff I wouldn't normally look into. I've gone back to my old routine of sitting in the stacks at the library and reading a book I've pulled until I lose interest and then wandering off to find another one until something really strikes me as interesting. This is exactly how I ended up with my B.A. in Philosophy. I read a book that blew my mind and I decided that I wanted to study deeper. I'm seeking that new vein. Looking for the next lode. And it'll be big when I find it.

But in the meantime, I listen to A LOT of left talk radio. I hear all the crying and moaning and wailing and gnashing of teething about this and that and it really makes me tired of even caring about the "which side you on" mentality. It's not a matter of which side you're on. It's a matter of realizing that every time we get grifted into thinking that some "Moral" issue is the thing we should be arguing about, we are being led away from the simple idea of Profit over People. Plain and simple. And that's where I'm at right now.

So you want to talk about how Paris Hilton should or shouldn't have to rot in jail for 45 days. So you want to argue about the University of Wisconsin System and how it may or may not extend benefits to life partners for same sex couples. Go ahead. It's the same as watching Real World reruns all summer long on your Dell laptop at the pool. Make sure you stay in the shallow end though. Heaven forbid you might have to swim.

It's been how long?

There's a lot going on in the world of politics and news and this and that. I would comment on that but it's just too time consuming to put together a semi-intelligent rant about the state of the world and there are plenty of other places to get your opinions.

Instead, I'd rather announce that I've quit smoking. I've given it up for a little over three weeks now. Granted, I did have a few cigarettes on Saturdays, hanging out with the band, but they were very unenjoyable. It's absolutely awesome to get rid of that damn addiction. I have dreams again. I don't reek (well, of smoke) all the time. I don't wake up congested every morning. I just fell damn better.

The trick? This time it was the reminder of facts about the drugs in cigarettes that kept me from having one during the week at work, where they are everywhere and pretty much free for the taking. I also kept reminding myself that there will be the horrible sludgy feeling along with the doped up stupor of having a smoke. I give myself breaks without the smoking now.

So stay away from cocaine, stay away from heroine, stay away from meth. But don't make that tobacco illegal. Even though it's probably the most addictive of the bunch.

Not feelin' it today.

I really could care less about just about everything today.

I've been forcing myself to listen to the rough mixes of the recording I've been working on with Where the i Divides and it's terribly frustrating.

Why, you ask? I don't want to talk about it. Lets just say that my expectations for this project and the expectations of my collaborators aren't on the same page. I'm tired of hearing the mistakes, the constant rhythm section jangling like it's all important, all the time. I'm tired of the warble in Joe's "I'm like the guy from R.E.M, right?" voice. I just want to re-track a few guitar parts, a few terrible vocal parts and then mix the songs alone with the engineer and let the rest of the band decide after I've made my "Producer's Cut."

But that's not here or there.

Gas Prices though... That's apparently all the rage these days.

(I love the picture. I want to shop at the Open Pant'ry!)

It's really, really, really slow

Work is slow as molasses. It's been like that all week.

So I've had plenty of time to sit and look at things online.

I was over at Kevin Wolf's doing some investigating and he had a mention of the Wadsworth Atheneum which reminded me of this totally awesomely horrible thing I learned last weekend.



Now, this ain't half bad. It all depends on how you use the words. But rap is just downright boring these days.

...But this is bad. I wish I was in high school again so I could work on projects like this and get credit for them. (rolls eyes, rolls over, dies.)




But at least it's not The (Mad) Real Wedding Crashers.

The land...

Where do all of these unexpected Ministry fans come from?

I keep bringing up Ministry as of late and people seem to love them.
I own two of their albums. One is decidedly not like the other. The Land of Rape and Honey is laden with drum loops and keyboards and samples. Filth Pig is practically the opposite with mostly live drums and mostly guitars. It's two different approaches to making the same kind of music. It's exactly the kind of thing that musicians do when they are tired of cranking out the same song over and over again, unlike the corporate companies that dominate what gets played on most commercial radio. (some of the comments on this link are great. Especially the one about NASCAR.) Again, what happens in the game of Monopoly when someone succeeds in creating a monopoly?


An (perhaps not so) interesting aside in my music appreciation travels:

Ministry covered Lay, Lady, Lay on Filth Pig. When I heard Bob Dylan singing that song, it was well after I had the Ministry version etched into my memory and that was, well, a shock.

Much like when my friend learned that Hunter isn't a Jared Leto song. She had no idea it was Bjork. Which rhymes with pork.

I've also heard rumors that Ministry isolates everything to the extreme when they record. Drum tracks are done one at a time. If that's true, that's mighty purist of them. I'd rather take the Albini route and just go for the ambient sound of "strategically place mics." But then again, I think I like a more "organic" feel to my music.

The Veil Dropped a Long Time Ago

I just sent this off to a Mister John Edwards for President, 2008, on his myspace page.

Dear Mr. Edwards 2008 Campaign Volunteer,

Even though I think our country would be better run by a candidate from the Democratic side of this bi-partisan system we have clumsily manipulating this great nation of ours, I can't help but wonder what sort of qualifications a politician has in making any of these decisions.

If Mr. John Edwards were to sit down and have a one-to-one chat with me, explaining what he expects to do if elected, I would consider giving him my support, but that's not going to happen. I'm not a corporation like Globo-Chem or Conglomo-O looking for ways to raise the bottom line, by padding pocketbooks in the disgraceful popularity contest that used to be a serious affair.

In 2008, I think I'll vote for the candidate I disagree with the least.

Sincerely,
Z


Ahh... Grandma Betsy's Biscuit Powder.

Fueled by stimulation

The last post I put up was a hint as to what the future could hold.

I didn't take the time to work on the new idea over the weekend. I went to see films at the Wisconsin Film Festival.

Chalk
Linda, Linda, Linda
Climates

Good movies. Good times. I'm not going to comment on them, other than this. Chalk is akin to NBC's the Office. Climates is a really slow moving story but still advisable to see. Linda, Linda, Linda wasn't entirely what I expected but still a fun movie.

Back to realtime. I sat down today to start on this new project, and I'm quickly learning that I have a highly unrestrainable writing style. I would talk about it more but I'm trying to keep it under wraps until it's close to being completed. (Who knows how long that will take.)

A moment of Silent Staring

I spent a good 15 minutes last night just sitting on my bed, staring at nothing. Listening to nothing. Thinking. About what? I don't remember.

I've had a lot to do as of late. Work is busy as usual. I'm pretty much off the photocopy job, which is a good thing. I make more money at the other job now and I end up having a few more hours in the day to work on writing. Writing what? I don't know... nonsense poetry, esoterics, banal tripe.

Today was a good day for writing.

I came up with a few lines. "There are stars in these skies. There are 13 points to an object." which I quickly followed up with "Bushido Blade blister parade." I decided that the first two had something and then then third one was just crap. I boxed that one off, quarntined it if you will, and then kept working with those ideas. There's something in those two lines that needs to be expanded on. I'm going to give myself some sort of outline and work from there.

And as much as I would like to say that this blog is dead, I just posted another post... so figure that one out.

(Zombie Post)

How is it possible?

When a moment grabs you, it's really hard to say no.

I wrote something about it today without really knowing what specifically I was actually trying to say. It's one of those things where everything has to be right and yet when I try to make it right, it just looks like a bunch of cut up magazine articles, glue, streamers and glitter.

Here it is...

Oh my dear sweet savior's nose gay on the rolling hills. Folding chairs. Blankets on the lawn. Dispirited by a screwdriver and a lighter.
Bring Hope down the line.
That you've known this before. Divine Splinter-vention at the turtle convention... and the snails feel left behind yet content with the glowing eyesockets picture lockets dangling off the cable pipeline snoring to keep you awake while you sleep, drool, frolic in the gray.
Bishop of Eggs. Evaporate. Quick tabulate.
ROBOTS!

... that it.

Or I could sum it up in a pilfered line. "Look at me and tell me if you've known me before."

Haleas flasdj fk-w0rnv

Yeah... That's about all I got.

I"m taking a fucking break from Access '07. Brain is fried from trying to get a new database up and running for the office. It'll be great on the resume. It'll be great once I get it done. I dunno.

I put in my notice at the photocopy job. I had a long day on Monday and decided that I'm very, very, very unhappy with where I am and what I'm doing and need to kick my ass out of this stupid rut. I can't justify making the kind of money I make when I am capable of earning so much more for doing more challenging work. And stuff and things.

Where the i Divides has a show on Saturday in Kenosha, WI. What a trip!!! I haven't thought much about it. I finished off another new song that I've been kicking around since last fall. Then a new idea. Sure. The first album ain't done with the mixing process and we're already working on the next album. It's just a reference for the new material. It may be a while before that stuff get anywhere near a studio. The Quisling material, on the other hand, may be done over the next few months...

What's Quisling? It's the Nirvana-esque band I started last week after Joe gave me the impression he may be quitting the band. I put together two songs so far, musically. I still need to record them and kick out some lyrics for singin'. Eventuall we'll play shows around town and sell garage demos on burned CDs made with my computer and a few microphones. Rock and roll through and through. People will say, "Why does this sound like you recorded it in a barn?" and I'll relpy, "because it was."

What I'm most iimpressed with about all of this is that if someone had told me two years ago that I would be able to write a song in a matter of hours, and then bust out another one in the same night, I would have not believed them. Yet, now here I sit on a pile of songs and music that I've put together and there's always ideas for more. I think it was an interview with the New Pornographers that I read about that time that I realized that I wanted to 'crank' out more songs. Good songs. Bad songs. Filler. It didn't matter. The good would move on and the bad would fall away but they'd be done.

And special b-day wishes to my sis.

Just a thought

Why is it that people who use "religion" to their advantage to get elected lack the conscience or understanding that their conduct should reflect those values?

What the hell ever happened to honesty, compassion, and concern for your fellow man or woman regardless of who they are or their profession. (See the story of Jesus and the Woman at the Well.)

I'd much rather have those things than any religious affiliation or religious endorsement for someone I would potentially vote for.

Personal news update

Last post was me on a misery Monday. I've been ground down by the constant recording sessions debacles that seem to be cropping up. (Crapping up?) Over the weekend, I finished guitar tracks and some organ tracks. Travis has this super awesome vintage GE organ that has a fan in it. You plug it in and press a key and it opens a valve that lets air through to create a sound. It's pitched different than a true 440 so we're going to have to shift the entire track but thank god for protools (sometimes).

Saturday went well. Stuff was accomplished. I'm still not happy with the solo I recorded for the song "Jerkwater". It's not quite right. It's there, it's okay, but it lacks the power and flow that I need it to have. I listened to some Tool yesterday and am thinking I'm going to use that as a point of reference for that song. Acoustic guitar tracks on the song "Stepped Oustide" need to be re-recorded since we used Travis' Kingston and it's next to impossible to tune and my acoustic tuner needs new batteries. I'll have to drag my Oscar Schmidt acoustic in. The strings are probably rusted to hell and will break when I start playing but that'll just add to the overall effect I was going for with the Kingston. And then we got to Sunday...

Joe was late due to the time shift. We hammered away at one song for three point five hours with retakes and punches but it just wasn't coming out quite right. Then we switched songs and that wasn't working to well either. Compounded with the fact that Joe has changed most of the lyrics that he's had for the last year, it wasn't a good session. By the end, he was sprawled out on the floor, destitute and forlorn. So we listened to all of the songs, what we have so far and that just shot his confidence till the clip was empty. Stupid singers and their esteem issues. He said that "Plastic Head" needs to be retracked. All of it. The song was too slow. That'll take a day to do the instruments. He said that the solo on "One Day" needs to be the one I recorded for the demo. He wants to redo all vocal tracks. (roll eyes.)

So I had this haunting sensation on Monday that everything I was doing was wrong. Working on music is just a pipe dream that's going to go nowhere and I'm just living in Madison right now pretty much for the music. If it weren't for the band, I'd probably be living in Montana right now. I almost moved on Tuesday. Packed up and left. Figure out the situation after the deed was done.

Tuesday came and went with me pushing through the day. I filled out my application for paralegal school and sent it in. I've had it for almost a month now and it took me five minutes to fill out. No commitment, just the idea of doing something that I'm not apeshit hogwash crazy about, and going to school for it. But it travels, like turning wrenches or pouring drinks. You can do it anywhere.

So that's it. I'm in a funk... the rickety funk of springtime doldrums. Pushing myself past the easy road to depression and keeping focused on getting myself out from under the opression of the B.O.A Constrictor so I can finally tell them to fuck off for good.

Gotta get some work done now. These services don't enter themselves into the computer.

Self-indlugent crap post

"Don't fret precious I'm here, step away from the window and go back to sleep.

Lay your head down child. I won't let the boogeymen come. Count their bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums. Pay no mind to the rabble. Pay no mind to the rabble.

Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums.

Pay no mind what other voices say. They don't care about you, like I do, (like I do.) Safe from pain, and truth, and choice, and other poison devils, see, they don't give a fuck about you, like I do.

Just stay with me, safe and ignorant. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons. I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason. I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son. They're one and the same.

I must isolate you. Isolate and save you from yourself.

Stay with me, safe and ignorant. Just stay with me. I'll hold you and protect you from the other ones.

The evil ones, don't love you son. Go back to sleep."


* * * * *

I miss the tall green grass turned brown full of grasshoppers as mule deer stare silently stoic on the rise above the gravel road for running in the middle of nowhere soon too soon turned into "Suburbia" with fake trees and sod lawns meticulously watered each night like robbers-stealing-gold-from-the-only-stagecoach-through-these-parts out of the river that pulls all the silt from the fires of last summer down to the ocean if not for the hydroelectric dams.

I miss sitting in one spot for hours and moving the world beneath wheels while the dreams of sessions in isolation booths spill their woven magic into my state of staring and moon craters and sand blasting and cigarette smoke for miles.

I miss lack of hope.

I miss that the most.

Meow Meow

This is almost as good as Chamberlain auditioning for Danny J's Metal Project. Hailing a taxi from Trav's, rollin' out to Mt. Horeb.

But it comes nowhere close to Travis putting on his own production of A Streetcar Named Desire with his cats. That would be worth a website. Not to mention totally worth seeing, even with the nip floatin' around.

(rather than mention anything about the Libby verdict. It's just unfortunate that nothing is going to be done about the rest of them. Hit the scapegoat with a few years in minimum security and then let him out and no one will remember it. It'll be forgotten by '08 anyway unless Cheney decides he has a chance at being president.)

Recording up-to-date

The band has been left out of the discussion mix for a while. We've been recording through the month of February, pretty much every Saturday and Sunday.

Yesterday was the first day of vocal tracking. Joe was spot on for some songs and sounded good all around. He had been practicing. I noticed one song that was "finished" has either a guitar or a bass track that out of tune. I'm hoping that it's not the bass. If it is, I have to re-rent the amp we used, and I don't really want to do that.

There are guitar parts that need to be retooled. Several solos that still need to be worked out. It's been a long process of weekends spent listening actively. And that's the part that really wears you out.

We (the band) are hoping to have all twelve tracks "in the can" in three to four more sessions. That's including acoustic guitar parts, the remaining electric guitar parts, keyboard parts, vocals on half the songs (roughly) and several re-records of bass tracks. I'm tired of being optimistic about this process ever being over. It'll end, eventually.

And then you can buy it. But why would you want to?

More from the land of milk an' honey

This seems to keep showing up.

Enough to make me wonder.

Then, there's this article from yesterday. It was about stuff and I can't find it now. Whatever.

So I did find this one.

I'm just a little bummed out by this information. When I was in high school, tracking students to college was the thing to do. Everyone was going to college to get a degree and a good paying job. No one ever took the time to say, "Hey, these assholes from the credit card companies want to turn you into their slave. They'll do their darndest, more so than the armed forces recruiters. You would be better served by staying away from them at all costs." Instead, they educated us to not use drugs.

So now, I abuse drugs to escape from the predicament. I still believe I can do anything. But I don't think that I'm good enough for anyone to really notice. Just an average Thimble-thumper pushing the shopping cart down the street picking up cans to recycle for change.

B.O.A. Constrictor

I received this e-mail from one of my slavemasters today.

******

Extend your 6.99% Promotional APR until October 2007*

It's time for a balance transfer.

Dear Z,
RE: Your account number ending in XXXX

Need extra cash this winter? Enjoy the warmth of a balance transfer. With a click, you can transfer balances, and use your promotional 6.99% APR through your statement closing date in April 2007. If a transfer is completed by your statement closing date in April 2007, then the promotional APR will be extended until October 2007. With just one monthly payment it's the perfect opportunity to:

Create extra cash flow when you transfer balances from higher-rate credit cards.
-Arrange for your dream vacation.
-Simplify your life by paying monthly bills with your credit card.
-Handle your finances conveniently on one statement.

Why not? Just click to open up a world of new possibilities for yourself. Go to exoticrapefantasies.com to transfer balances.

******
Here's my reply. (I did send this to customer support.)

******

Dear Bank of America

I really appreciate it when you encourage me to continue my apprenticeship in your indentured servant program, but I feel that I'm really not the person you're looking for. This position you have offered me has kept me in one place for far too long and there are other things I really have to do.

You see, I'm not a consumer anymore. I'm a creator, and a creator doesn't need things like televisions, extravagant dinners, leather sofas, or ipods that cost too much and take far too much of my energy. This energy is better spent creating and I have all the tools I will ever need to create.

So, continue raping the souls of the masses. I see no harm, if fucking people with no Vaseline till they bleed a horrible, soulless death is in fact, the moral thing to do... as long as your vacations are paid for, your ugly, waste-of-space houses stand over your heads, and your pampered children grow up with overpriced gadgets made from petrochemicals paid for in blood. Where's the foul?

Sincerely,

Z


******

I doubt I'll get a response.

(AG, you know what I'm talking about.)

Blah blah blah

I spent the entire day thinking about balloons filled with hydrogen at a birthday party at some elementary school.

Couldn't stop laughing about that. I know, it's sick, but still it's funny.

That got me thinking about consumption. Cycles of consumption. Then I got depressed, until I started thinking about the balloons filled with hydrogen and started laughing again.

Daily make due

Today, like most days, I pondered what I'm doing. And what is it I do? Make love to the machines.

I swear, when the world from the Matrix becomes reality, I'll be the one working for the machines, outside the matrix.

The dead speak... and they say, "I'm not dead yet."

I have been incredibly busy! Sorry to my friends who check in here. Life is demanding all of my attention. I’m lucky if I can find time to respond to the few e-mails I get everyday.

Things will slow down again. I don’t know when but within a months time, hopefully.

Work is merry work, and it’s exploding on all fronts. Too many 8am to 8pm days these last two weeks. Have you seen those Hupy and Abraham commercials? We do work for them. They keep us as busy as Ab-ra-ca-blab-ra.

The band is in full force recording mode, which means I’m in full force recording mode. Twelve songs. Bass and Drum tracks are in the can. Guitar and misc. ambient, etc. tracks are up to bat and I’ve been spending my time rifling through the last years worth of demo recording archives of these songs trying to remember the good layering ideas I came up with.

I’ve also had to do “tone mapping” and I’m not quite done with that. (My deadline is Saturday morning. I use an effects processor live and each song has its own distinct preamp simulator sound that I use. Different gain levels, different delay decay times, choruses and reverbs, compression, vibrato, tremolo… the list goes on. Anyway, for some merry reason, I thought it would be a good idea to use a borrowed amp for a purer tone and now I have to craft the shifting sounds of my guitar through an array of tones in a piece of equipment I am unfamiliar with. (Kinda like puberty, or an internment camp.)

Twelve color-coded spread sheets, with copious notes attached to each, are on my list of things to finish either tonight or Friday, seeing as how Wednesday and Thursday are already planned till the later hours. Beh… I’ll get it done. I always do.

It makes me think with all of this labouring that I could have a better-paying job.

Speaking of jobs!

Joe had a “Reference” phone interview last week. I think the last job I applied for with him as a reference was mid December. A Cheerie two months ago!!! I need to research this. I seem to recall it was a job I was VERY interested in. (Re-apply?)

I gotta get some sleep. Affidavits do draft in the morning. They’re piling up on me faster than I can say, “What the Gas?”

I’ll do my best to stay up on things here, but no promises. Maybe even some more pictures!!! I got software to move pictures off my olde tyme digital camera but haven't had the time to set it up. Pooh!

Cloud Cultist Reporting

I got my copy of Cloud Cult's new album. Amazing piece of work it is, indeed.

Listen to Take Your Medicine on their site. You have to click on the listen to song link. I'm not going to upload my copy. You should just buy the damn thing if you like what you hear.

The song Your 8th Birthday is beautiful. I can't explain it but if you know the story of the songwriter, it'll move you.